Jackie is almost twenty minutes late to the restaurant where I’m supposed to meet her. I’m just starting to get antsy when a car pulls up, this petite, red-haired woman pulls herself gracelessly from the passenger side and hops up to the entrance. I catch a glimpse of Teagan as she drives off, then look up as Jackie enters the room.

Folks, if there’s one thing I have to tell you about Jackie, it’s that she is drop dead gorgeous. I don’t know what they do to her to make her the harried plain Jane we’re used to seeing in print, but in person, she’s a complete knockout.

Then I stand up, and find she’s still only five and a half feet tall.

Jackie: What? I look taller in my pictures?

PR: ....huh? Ubbbah.....

Jackie: [eyeing me up] Do I need a translater here? You DO speak English?

PR: Yeah! No, yeah—I’m sorry uh...please have a seat!

Jackie: [smiling] Thanks!

I try to look organised, but I can’t break away from her gaze. She has the brightest, clearest eyes I’ve ever seen. It really isn’t fair.

Jackie: So what’cha got for me?

PR: Well uh...what attracted you to this comic?

Jackie: Like, why’d I sign on? It was just odd enough. I like the concept—it’s very basic and very limited, but BJ had some good ideas of how to work within the limits. He seemed to relish the fact that there were boundaries to deal with. That, and he promised [the cast] almost endless creative input. I like that. We’ve all done at least as much work fleshing out our characters as BJ has. You don’t get that chance very often. Well...ever.

PR: So what have you brought to your character?

Jackie: Welllll..... A lot of the little things. The motorbike thing was mine. The Mac ‘N’ Cheez running gag was my idea. I convinced BJ to bring Caryn and Teagan on board.

PR: I was going to bring that up later, but since you mentioned it: What’s up with Teagan?

Jackie: She’s gonna be in the comic! She’s nervous as hell, but once she gets used to the idea of dozens—[she breaks off and rolls her eyes, making quote marks in the air with her hands] I mean "millions"—of people a day looking at her, she should be okay.

PR: No, I mean in real life.

Jackie: Ooooo....this might ruin the mystique. [she pauses, then shrugs] Fine by me. If I could marry that woman, I would. Well, three more years and I won’t have to bother! [laughs]

[Editor’s note: Wisconsin state law supports a common law marriage, meaning that once a couple have lived together for seven years, they are considered married by default.]

PR: So you two really are an item.

Jackie: Yeah. Oh yeah. Wouldn’t trade her for the world. We try not to parade the fact around, though. I mean, I don’t care being out or not, and neither does she, but we don’t wanna go Ellen on everyone.

PR: As in...

Jackie: Well, it’s like...you start beating people over the head with your own personal crusade, then pretty soon everybody starts seeing your crusade instead of your face. If Teeg and I start hitting gay march after gay march, then our jobs as comic characters are compromised, and nobody’s interested in us as actors anymore. Just as figureheads for Crusade X. See?

PR: So it’s like Ellen versus Rosie.

Jackie: Exactly! When Rosie came out, of course it grabbed a few headlines. But then it all went away, because she had already established such an extensive, enviable career. Nobody cared what her preference is because that has nothing to do with the Rosie everybody knows. Ellen just sat and soapboxed. That always does more harm than good. Well, check out the political strips we did that earned us such an uproar! I think BJ’s still stinging from that one. So that’s why I’m gonna stop right now. [laughs]

PR: Okay! But just one more question before we move on.

Jackie: [rolls her eyes again] You sure you’re not with the "Examiner"?

PR: No, but this is a hot topic of discussion. It looks like BJ is dropping big hints that Jackie in the strip is a little confused as to which way she swings.

Jackie: Yup. That’s all intentional.

PR: So which way DOES she swing?

Jackie: Keep reading the strip. [laughs] Seriously—it’s yet to be decided. We’re just throwing everybody’s hand on the table, here. We’re setting up every combination we can, so when it comes time to choose a direction, we can go wherever without compromising all the foreshadowing.

PR: But he’s already said that Teagan will be aboard after a while. Will art imitate life?

Jackie: You mean will we pair up and be all smoochy and stuff in the strip? Who knows? It goes back to the soapboxing. I mean, we’ve already introduced Caryn, who’s gay. We don’t really need more lesbians running around helter-skelter. Besides, there’s the Victor angle. Wouldn’t it be nice to see a more traditional relationship? Maybe one that actually works? [she starts doing a groovy sort of shoulder dance] Y’know? Me and Victor? Me and Shannon?

PR: You wouldn’t mind your character dating a guy?

Jackie: Nah. Teeg knows I’m not the wandering kind. Besides, Vic’s very cool. I’d rather play opposite him than like....I don’t know, Russell Crowe. [laughs] I couldn’t stand all the poetry!

PR: What if it doesn’t go that way?

Jackie: Oh, what if this what if that. Maybe [my character will] hook up with Caryn. Maybe Teagan. Maybe Victor. Or Shannon. Someone suggested Brandy! Who knows, who cares. I don’t know if I’d want Teeg to get introduced and then [have her] run right into Caryn’s arms. You can bet I’ll be pulling for something else, if that comes up. But like I said, we’re just leaving the options open for now. We’ll nail it down eventually. In the mean time, have fun with the mystery!

PR: You mentioned earlier that you enjoy the creative input you have.

Jackie: Oh yeah. All of us [in the cast] get to boss BJ around. He’ll come in with the scripts, we’ll read ‘em over and just rip ‘em up in front of his face, laughing. Then he’ll go and rewrite them, and we’ll rip ‘em up again. It’s to the point where we don’t even read the first few draughts. Most of the time the comic’s in the can by the time he comes back with the real script.

PR: You’re putting me on.

Jackie: Yeah, I am. [laughs] Really, though, being on the set—it’s not like real work. The characters we play are so close to ourselves that we can usually nail a scene in a couple takes and spend the rest of the day horsing around. I mean, we’ll pull in different directions sometimes. I’d like my character to be even just a little self-confident. I mean, come on! She’s downright pathetic at times! I’d like to see her relax a little. Imagine what I could do with her then. BJ says it’ll all come in time, but sometimes I want that time to be RIGHT NOW. I’d also like to see her get her hands dirty.

PR: How so?

Jackie: She’s such an innocent wimp. I’d like to siphon off some Lou-karma into her. Give her something to hold on to.

PR: Can you do that without changing the character? Will the readers accept it?

Jackie: I think so. "Jackie’s Fridge" readers are a pretty sharp bunch. They get a lot of the subtle things we do, and they’re good at filling in blanks. They’ll even read some pretty sublime stuff into the strips that we never thought of. I think if we change my character, it’ll go over well. We just can’t have her like, whining about how insecure she is one day, then have her bungee jumping naked the next.

PR: I’d like to see that strip.

Jackie: [laughs] I almost believe you’re joking, you perv! Look at that face!

PR: Oh, come on, like I’d be the only one.

Jackie: [blushing] All right, that’s enough out of you. [She hits me in the arm. It hurts.] Shame!

PR: Ow! Okay, I’ll leave it there for now.

Jackie: What? [She threatens me with a backhand] There’s plenty more where that came from!

PR: Parting questions, really quick: What’s your favourite food?

Jackie: Pizza. There’s a place in town called Bill’s Pizza, and it’s to die for. Thin crust with tons of topping and some kind of really cool spice. Teeg hates it, but I’m in heaven.

PR: What’s in your CD player right now?

Jackie: Ah! I’ve got a five-disc-er. Ummm.... Big Wreck "In Loving Memory", BiGod 20’s "Supercute"—I finally found a copy and it’s so cool. What else is in there? Oh yeah, a defunct Bay-area girl-pop group called Julie Plug. "Starmaker" is the album. Local band from Green Bay called Vacuum Scam, and I think they just had the album "Resume"—good stuff. And Neo-Tek’s "Brain Over Muscle".

PR: I haven’t heard of any of those.

Jackie: Yeah, I kind of have to dig for my music. It’s all college rock or industrial. Big Wreck is the most radio-friendly band there. You’ve gotta hear the Pluggers and Vacuum Scam, though. I’ll get you copies.

PR: I’ll hold you to that. Umm....Last film you saw that you really enjoyed?

Jackie: The remake of House on Haunted Hill. Seriously. Don’t look at me like that! I was told it sucked, and it does, but it’s got such a sense of fun I really liked it.

PR: Okay, how about the coolest 80s television show that never should have been cancelled.

Jackie: Um...I don’t know. This one’s pretty important, let me think. [she thinks for a bit, then gets a really wicked smile on her face] I know. Automan.

PR: What?

Jackie: Automan! They made like a dozen episodes, but it was so cool! He was like a computer generated guy who glowed in the dark, and he was perfect at everything. It was so cool! If I saw it today, I’d probably hate it, but when I was little, that was the coolest show! Automan. And he had a little cursor that would float around and build him things. Very Tron-esque. Wait—can I change my movie to Tron? I just bought that new 2-disc DVD, and that movie is so much cooler than I remembered. Tron. Forget House on Haunted Hill. Yup. Tron.

PR: All right. I think I’m more comfortable with Tron, anyway. I have a few more, but we’ve run pretty long. How about we call it quits for now and wait for the readers’ questions?

Jackie: All right. But I’d like to restate for the record: Tron.

PR: Once you make up your mind, you’re pretty positive about it, huh?

Jackie hit me again. I’ve still got a good sized bruise on my arm. Next: Ada